Some Late Night Political Jokes

"Earlier today, John McCain released 1,200 pages of his medical records. Or, as his doctor calls it, Chapter One." - Conan O'Brien

"Cindy McCain sprained her wrist. Doctors say it's nothing serious - she probably did it cutting John McCain's meat into little tiny pieces." - Craig Ferguson

"Good news for John McCain - his poll numbers are up 4 percent, liver spots down 3 percent." - Jay Leno

"Joe Biden put his foot in his mouth the other day. He told a crowd that Hillary is as qualified or more qualified that he is. Plus she still has her original hair." - Jay Leno

"Vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin has many views. She says she's opposed to same-sex marriage. Yeah, Palin says everyone knows marriage isn't for gay people; it's for pregnant teenagers." - Conan O'Brien

"The McCain people believe Americans will disregard her inexperience because they will fall in love with her story. She was a runner-up in the 1984 Miss Alaska Pageant, which may sound trite, but you try walking in high-heeled snow shoes." - Bill Maher

"I saw that they're selling Sarah Palin action figures. Sad incident at Toys R Us today - a Sarah Palin doll shot My Little Pony." - Jimmy Kimmel

"We're learning more about Sarah Palin. It turns out she and her entire family once had a chair-throwing brawl on 'Jerry Springer.'" - David Letterman

"Sources in North Korea say that dictator Kim Jong Il is very sick. He may have to shift power to one of his three sons. Still, there's an out-of-the-box chance he'll pick Sarah Palin." - Conan O'Brien

"Barack Obama gave a speech in Germany and 200,000 people showed up. There were so many Germans shouting and screaming that France surrendered just in case." - Craig Ferguson

"They're saying that Barack Obama is starting to slip in the polls. But don't worry. He has a plan. He's going to go back to campaigning in Europe." - David Letterman